spainstateofmind:

thebadwolf:

Fun party trick: put Skittles and M&M’s in the same bowl, wait for someone to grab a handful.

you can go fuck yourself

crrocs:

lets have a minute of silence for those people who have their family comment on their facebook pictures.

h0odrich:

It’s mad depressing when u eat the last piece of candy but you didn’t look at the bag and realize it was the last one so you could truly appreciate it for what it was worth

pau1y:

what if 911 called you

sherwat:

chrissykilljoybitchtits:

inc-omparable:

im-fandoomed:

hitlervevo:

why the fuck cant we text the police

lets say there is a murderer in ur house and you’re hiding behind your sofa and you do have your phone with you but you can’t call the police because the murderer might hear you

Here in Canada you can

Here in England we just… scream and run

Here in Scotland we paint our faces and run towards the murderer

Here in Australia you are the murderer

when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that i can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s better and involves me

(Source: pizza)

nicolascageholocaust:

We can only be friends if you’re kind of an asshole. Not full blown asshole because that’s no fun. And if you’re not an asshole at all then that won’t work either. A halfway asshole. Those are my kind of people.