legolokiismighty:

i would hire him for this flyer alone

legolokiismighty:

i would hire him for this flyer alone

Bae: babe come over
Me: I just put my bagel bites in the oven
Bae: my parents aren't home
Me: I literally just put them in the oven
scotland-graveyard:

eyress:

I CHALLENGE YOU TO A BATTLE OF WITS
The game is this: I set up five pairs of identical looking shots:  pineapple juice or lemon juice,  Chinese sugar tea or apple cider vinegar,  flat coke or soy sauce,  water or distilled white vinegar,  and tomato juice or Tabasco sauce.
I challenge a player in the circle to a color. They pick one and I take the other, with our best poker faces. Other players have to guess who got what.
It’s like the Princess Bride/A Study in Pink but no one gets poisoned!

This is genius

scotland-graveyard:

eyress:

I CHALLENGE YOU TO A BATTLE OF WITS

The game is this:
I set up five pairs of identical looking shots:
pineapple juice or lemon juice,
Chinese sugar tea or apple cider vinegar,
flat coke or soy sauce,
water or distilled white vinegar,
and tomato juice or Tabasco sauce.

I challenge a player in the circle to a color. They pick one and I take the other, with our best poker faces. Other players have to guess who got what.

It’s like the Princess Bride/A Study in Pink but no one gets poisoned!

This is genius

squartpoop:

What this bitch want now

squartpoop:

What this bitch want now

working retail

noknuckles:

me: hi how are you today?
customer: JUST LOOKING.

ma-jenka:

When people walk slow in front of you

image

listoflifehacks:

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jenawithonen:

can u keep it down i am trying 2 reed