Cashier: That'll be $4.03
Me: I only have $4...
Cashier: That's ok, I have the three cents
Me: ...........
Cashier: ........
Me: what are we?

yelled:

when you wake up early in the morning and sit on the edge of your bed like

image

unclefather:

*elementary school*

kid 1: whatcha doing

kid 2: eating chocolate

kid 1: where’d ya get it

kid 2: doggy dropped it

*8 years later*

me: they were eating poop

funthot:

okay scary story time my sister hid this pic of Michael Jackson behind my pillow and when I lifted my pillow I saw this and I screamed so loud I can’t even handle looking at the pic omfg

funthot:

okay scary story time my sister hid this pic of Michael Jackson behind my pillow and when I lifted my pillow I saw this and I screamed so loud I can’t even handle looking at the pic omfg

joseguwop:

809212:

what would you say to your 10 year old self

lottery numbers

shubbabang:

So I work at target now and one of my favorite things to do when I hear something in the next aisle fall is to drop what I’m doing and stand at the end of that aisle like so:

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ruinedchildhood:

When I lose my mom at Walmart

ruinedchildhood:

When I lose my mom at Walmart

awesomephilia:

They look so peaceful when they’re sleeping. 

awesomephilia:

They look so peaceful when they’re sleeping. 

shisnojon:

honestly